Servant or Queen?

Over the past century Biblical womanhood has been under extreme fire from radical feminists and Marxists. In their attempts to annihilate the traditional, God-ordained family unit they have rightly understood that one of their top strategies must be not only to attack and destroy strong manhood, but to remove women from their rightful sphere of power and influence.

One of their most successful tactics has been to belittle and demean the role of the woman at home, passionately proclaiming that this is a worse than useless position and one to be eschewed at all costs. Those whom they fail to convince to actually leave their homes are made to feel as though they are wasting their lives in mindless drudgery and are even a drain on society.

Consider this small sampling of quotes from prominent feminists and humanists within the past century:

“The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor, to liberate them from ‘domestic slavery,’ to free them from their stupefying and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery. This struggle will be a long one, and it demands a radical reconstruction, both of social technique and of morale. But it will end in the complete triumph of Communism.” ~ V.I. Lenin, International Working Women’s Day Speech , 1920.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind…rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” ~ Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the [housewife’s] labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. [W]oman’s work within the home [is] not directly useful to society, produces nothing. [The housewife] is subordinate, secondary, parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949.

Tragically, multitudes of women have drunk deeply at feminism’s well – often without quite realizing just what it was they were imbibing. Though at times it is diluted, and administered in more palatable forms then the shocking statements above, the poison of this radical, anti-God, anti-family, Marxist movement has permeated the thinking of the entire world – including Christendom – and the consequences have been devastating.

The role of the keeper at home, once deeply appreciated and honored, is now looked upon as drudgery and an insult to the intelligence of today’s woman. The woman who actually wants to be home with her family is made to feel foolish and guilty. Any one can do laundry, change diapers, make a meal and wipe noses so why not hire someone else to handle these chores? Why should modern women waste their time and ambitions on such things when they can go out and unleash their talents on the world?

In short, and in a terrible irony, women have willingly abdicated their God ordained positions of honor, nobility and strength for the lie that their true worth and destiny are found in careers outside the home… or in other words, in positions of paid servitude.

Or as Stacy McDonald states in Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God: “Rather than women renouncing this affront to their dignity, amazingly the slaves are demanding their slavery!”

Scripture declares the truth; it is through the saving work of Christ and in a life lived according to the standard set forth in God’s Holy Word, that a woman is most honored and elevated to a position like no other on earth. The godly wife and mother is no household drudge, or mindless parasite, but a queen who truly reigns alongside her husband over the home and domain God has given her. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 31)

As we look back just a few generations ago we see a vastly different view of the keeper at home than the one commonly held today. It was a view that upheld the Biblical standard and understood that this was no mere job but a noble and sacred calling, and a position of power and influence like no other.

Here are just a few of many quotes I have collected that show the high regard and esteem in which the woman at home was once held:

In 1893 an unknown author wrote:

“To be Queen over her little kingdom, serene in every family emergency, capable to direct all things with calmness, cheerfulness, and decision, is an ambition sufficient to tax the powers of the most skillful amongst us, and a vocation equal to the highest God has appointed on this earth.”

In his book Secrets of Happy Home Life (published in 1874) J.R. Miller had this to say of wives:

“Home is the true wife’s kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. But if any calls for her service must be declined, they should not be the duties of her home. These are hers, and no other one’s. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. The best husband—the truest, the noblest, the gentlest, the richest-hearted—cannot make his home happy if his wife be not, in every reasonable sense, a helpmate to him.

In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife. Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love. And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.

Men with fine gifts think it worth while to live to paint a few great pictures which shall be looked at and admired for generations; or to write a few songs which shall sing themselves into the ears and hearts of men. But the woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.”

In his book, Homemaking he had this to say of mothers:

“Oh, that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny, – she would see that in all God’s world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust give to her.”

As John Angell James wrote in 1853 in his book Female Piety:

“Christianity has provided a place for woman for which she is fitted, and in which she shines; but take her out of that place, and her luster pales and sheds a feeble and sickly ray! Or to change the metaphor, woman is a plant, which in its own greenhouse seclusion will put forth all its brilliant colors and all its sweet perfume; but remove it from the protection of its own floral home into the common garden and open field, where hardier flowers will grow and thrive—its beauty fades and its fragrance is diminished. Neither reason nor Christianity invites woman to the professor’s chair, or conducts her to the lawyer’s bar, or makes her welcome to the pulpit, or admits her to the place of the magistracy. Both exclude her…from the violence and evil of the military, the debates of the senate, and the pleadings of the forum. And they bid her beware how she lays aside the delicacy of her sex, and listens to any doctrines which claim new rights for her, and becomes the dupe of those who have put themselves forward as her advocates only to gain notoriety, or perhaps unneeded income.

The Bible gives her her place of majesty and dignity in the domestic circle—the heart of her husband and the heart of her family. It is the female supremacy of that domain, where love, tenderness, refinement, thought and tender feeling preside. “It is the privilege of making her husband happy and honored, and her sons and daughters the ornaments of human society. It is the sphere of piety, prudence, diligence, in the domestic station, and a holy and devout life. It is the sphere that was occupied by Hannah, the mother of Samuel; by Elizabeth, the mother of John; by Eunice, the mother of Timothy; and by Mary, the mother of Jesus. It is the respect and esteem of mankind.”

Being the queen of one’s home is not easy, to state it mildly and involves plenty of mundane and often exhausting chores that can seem of little value. It also requires intense self sacrifice – but it is the same kind of sacrifice that our Saviour portrayed and which the Lord abundantly blesses:

Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. Matthew 20:26-28

Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. John 12:24

It is one of Scripture’s beautiful mysteries that as we lay down our lives in happy service to the Lord and our families – loving and helping our husbands, teaching and training our children, caring for our homes and reaching out the hand of hospitality – we are actually elevated to a position of nobility that far exceeds what any career could ever offer.

As “servant queens” we have a great and awe-inspiring privilege, for as we give our lives in joyful self-sacrifice we are also directly serving the Almighty King of Kings :

And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” Then He took a little child and set him in the midst of them. And when He had taken him in His arms, He said to them, “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me. Mark 9:35-37

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:37- 40

There is revival in the land, and Christian women are rediscovering the beauty and magnitude of God’s plan for womanhood. However, the spirit of feminism (ultimately raw selfishness in a clever disguise) can still influence our thinking if we are not on guard. Because we are all sinful human beings it can be very easy to be a keeper at home who is miserable, discontent, longing for “greener pastures” and foolishly plucking down her home with her own hands (Proverbs14:1). Self-absorption and the demanding of our “rights” can steal our joy and destroy our effectiveness in the mighty work the Lord has given us to do. We can abdicate our thrones and never leave the palace.

With the whole culture shrieking out a “me-first” mentality at every turn we must be vigilant to plug our ears to the lies bombarding us and to fill our hearts, souls and minds with the unchanging truth of God’s Word (“For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.” Psalm 100:5).

Although feminism continues her barrage against Biblical womanhood, we must refuse to heed her lies anymore. We must return to the beautiful “old paths” (Jeremiah 6:16) of Scripture and keep the Lord’s standard ever before us. Let us victoriously reclaim our thrones for the sake of our families, generations yet to come, and the glory of God.


12 thoughts on “Servant or Queen?

  1. I’m sorry, neither reason nor Scripture forbid women the things James claimed; this is a lie perpetrated by a man who knew nothing of the complexities of women’s souls (or reason or Scripture, for that matter). Why must you use foul lies in turn to combat the foulness of feminism? This lowers you more than them. Your pretty site would do far better with honesty, or your own words.


  2. I know Jennifer will be back to comment on your note, Jenn84, but here’s a quick link to my “Is This a Victorian Site?” piece, which will help explain what LAF is *not* saying: The Victorians did have some wrong ideas about womanhood, mainly because they were left trying to figure out what homemaking was about when the industrial revolution all but killed the household-based business model. The “Angel in the House” idea was definitely unbiblical, but I do not believe that’s what J.A James was trying to promote. From his other writings, we know he had real, solid tasks in mind for women–not just ethereal ideas of women being a “sanctifying presence” in the home. I’ll have more articles coming on this in the future.


  3. That was a very refreshing read, Mrs. Chancey; thank you for the clarifications. I’d visited this site in the past and never seen any words quite like James’s, which is why I was alarmed. His ideals are quite unsettlingly clear and I’m sorry if I misunderstood yours.


  4. Thank you for your comment. I just wanted to add an “Amen”to Jennie’s article and add my own brief clarification.

    My desire with my article was just to point out that it is Scripture that upholds and honors women and gives them a distinct position of power and influence, and feminism that degrades them, not the other way around.

    The worship of women in any way, either in the Victorian view of Woman as a Delicate Ornament, or the Feministic view of Woman as Independent Conquerors, is serious error and leads to all sorts of trouble.

    Scripture does clearly outline the role that God has ordained for women,and it does make it clear that there are positions which she is not created for or suited for.

    This is the point Mr. James is making in his statements…If you go back and reread them carefully (Victorian language can be so flowery and poetic at times that it can take a bit of deciphering to make out what exactly they are getting at ;-)) you’ll see that he isn’t saying that women aren’t smart or capable enough to hold certain positions, he is just saying that they aren’t created for them and therefore do not reach their full potential within them. When a woman IS in her rightful sphere that is where she shines and blooms and thrives.

    The woman at home MUST be smart, educated, capable and strong; it is a role that is challenging like no other and can be extremely demanding.

    It is always inspiring to reread Proverbs 31. The woman described there was a woman of power and influence; but all that she did was either done FROM her home or FOR her home. Had she been devoting her time and attention to a career away from her home she would not have packed the whallop that she did. 🙂

    Anyhow, I hope that further clarifies the position that is held to here. 🙂

    Thanks again for your comment.


  5. I absolutely agree that the role of mother and homekeeper has been devalued and degraded by modern mainstream american society. I am an abenaki traditionalist, which means that I follow the culture and traditions of the abenaki nation. Although I am not a christian, we too believe that women as mothers are fulfilling the most important role of humanity. We are very highly regarded and respected by the men of our people. I feel bad for women who aren’t abenaki, and who don’t realize the power they have been given by the Creator. I was sharing with some co-workers of mine of few weeks ago that I think alot of women in mainstream american society seek out high powered and high paying careers outside of their homes because they want to feel valued and respected, and the only way they can do that is to do what men do. It’s so sad. To my people, working is like going out and hunting. It’s just NOT the woman’s job. In our tradition, gender roles are very clearly defined. Our survivial depended on it, number one. But also, each has responsibilities that are unique to their own. These things are sacred, and should not be tampered with. Unfortunately, I am currently a single parent, and I have to work outside my home. I hate not having enough time to care for my home, family, and my exteneded relatives the way I would like to, and the way they NEED me to. I am currently writing a book about homemaking, and hopefully someday I can make enough money from my home economics business to be able to be home.
    I just want to say that although our spiritual and cultural beliefs are somewhat different, I really love your site, and I think you are doing a wonderful service to all women. Thank you.

    Noki Lomsen


  6. Thank you for your kind and welcoming response, Jennifer; it was a pleasure to hear from you. My words were harsh because I do believe that James was spreading a deception with one of his lines, but I hope I didn’t appear to be accusing you in general of being deceptive. That quote brought up bad memories of people bashing Sarah Palin merely because she was a woman during the election and brought my defenses right up. My thoughts of James and his creation ideas remain the same, but I’m more relieved on your account. Thank you for being gentler than I was.


  7. I know I’m sort of late to the party here. I just wanted to comment on a couple of things. First of all, in no way do all feminists think or feel the same way. I understand there may be women who actually like being the only one responsible for their childrens’ hygiene, etiquette, education, etc., and that some may even like never working outside the home. I am not going to call it slavery, or torture. But I do have to ask, if what they say is so offensive, why is your response not considered so?

    Why is it wrong for women to refer to you as a “domestic slave” but you are perfectly just in writing that our “positions of paid servitude” are not as noble as God had intended? Everybody has got an opinion to make. Is it yours that is the more “ladylike” because you quote the bible? I would have to say no. Women, in any position, have strength. Women who make a difference, whether at home, or the office, are queens.

    I’m not exactly thrilled that women had to, or volunteered to fight in battle. No more than I am that our men were forced to. But to suggest that they somehow added to the slaughter of nobility is disgusting to me. Have you forgotten that it was women, who helped bring this country back, during the war? Not by scrubbing floors and changing diapers. But, by working. Work that had long been considered “mens” work. Had it not been for their STRENGTH, HUMILITY, and INTELLIGENCE, in the workforce, we would not have the progression and evolution we did during and after WWII. I would think someone who refers so often to the past, would appreciate that.


    1. Kate, we acknowledge that not all feminists think in lock-step. 😉 See “What Is Feminism?” As for our response to feminism not being considered offensive, it actually is. Anything said by anyone (no matter what the intentions) can be interpreted as offensive or rude. But I’m here to tell you that it is our heart’s desire to speak the truth in love–not to simply offend for the sake of airing our opinions. As one who walked away from feminism 15 years ago, I am so very thankful for all the “rude” people who “offended” me for two years running, because their talk provoked me into reading deeply and asking questions of the ideas I had just blindly accepted as truth while in college.

      It’s also important to note that we are not against women “working.” That’s a nice little straw man that lots of people who disagree with LAF enjoy putting up. Women have always, always worked. The Proverbs 31 model of scripture shows us a woman who is CFO of her family and owns her own business as well as investing in holdings that will increase the family estate. Biblical womanhood is business-savvy — but not for the gain of a corporation. Which is better long-term, to put in years submitting to a boss and increasing someone else’s bottom line or to invest in your own business (including learning the skills of accounting, product promotion, advertising, marketing, and more)? We wholeheartedly endorse a return to the household economy model that worked so well for 200 years in this country. The Industrial Revolution took the money-earning power out of the home and stuck it in the factory, removing so much real, serious work that women had previously done. I recommend (feminist) Ann Douglas’s book, The Feminization of American Culture, for a thorough review of just how vastly our families, homes, and economy changed with the loss of the household economy. Another good book is Allan Carlson’s The Family in America. Thankfully, in our wired world, it is now possible for families once again to build their own businesses and run them successfully. We cheer on the many moms (and kids!) who are working from home together as a family. It’s a great trend. 🙂


  8. I just have two questions: Why do you refer to all of these articles and books, for your own opinions? I’m not interested in others’ thoughts on the issue. I have my own feelings and beliefs about everything. I couldn’t care less what someone else feels about it. It’s not a matter of fact or fiction, but rather right or wrong.

    Second, why is it that every time I post a comment on here, that is clearly replying to one person in particular, I get one or several comments from other people. I’m not talking to you, about you, or for you. Let people explain themselves.

    As far as YOUR comment on feminists using “LAF against working women” response, it is not a weapon, it is the truth. I don’t put other women down for staying home and reading, other than working in an office, school, firehouse, etc. It’s not for me, but that is fine. But when I read about how stay at home moms are “keeping the Lord’s standard ” it makes me cringe at the hypocricy. The Lord’s standard. Please. Get off your soap box.


  9. Howdy 🙂

    I’m the author of this article, and just wanted to add a ditto to what Jennie has said.

    Also, just wanted to add my own response mainly to your first comment.

    I agree that not all feminists are the same and did allude to that in the article (“Though at times it is diluted, and administered in more palatable forms then the shocking statements above…”)

    My desire was not to point fingers or call names back at the other camp but to write a direct response to the prevailing feminist attitude that true fulfillment is only found in employment outside the home and that homemakers are servants, drudges, etc.. The irony of this struck me and my article was written to address this specific point as well as to encourage women at home who can often lose sight of the greater picture and focus on the day to day difficulties that arise.

    I believe in the Almighty God and I believe that He is the Creator of this world and everything in it, including us (you too :-)) He created everything for a purpose and outlines that purpose in His Word, the Bible. When we live within the sphere or role that He created us for, that is when we will reach our full potential.

    This DOES NOT mean we are all mindless drones; there is room for great creativity and variety within that sphere. When we step outside of the area for which we were created though, something big is lost. A lion would make a really lousy lamb and a lamb would make a really lousy lion.

    Now, said lamb might try very hard to enter the lion’s world and to do a really good job being a lion. He might spend his whole life, on into sheephood climbing the corporate lion ladder, his whole focus on being the best lion he can be. However, he is missing out on being an EXCELLENT lamb and eventually full grown sheep; doing the job he was created for, enjoying it and bringing glory to the God who created Him. (Hmm, I might have to expand on this allegory later :-))

    The same is true when men and women step outside of their created roles. This is one of the reasons why I say that, as you put it, “our “positions of paid servitude” are not as noble as God had intended ”

    Massive things have been lost in our society because women refuse to accept the way they were created and the work God has for them to do ; one part of this is “noble womanhood being slaughtered”.

    There is a right and there is a wrong and we don’t get to decide, God does. If there is not an absolute standard than, boy are we in trouble, because everyone can just decide what is right or wrong for them and folks are not going to agree by a long shot. ( “Well, it felt right for me to rob you, so sorry you don’t agree”)

    Because I do believe in the absolute Standard of the Bible, I do believe that women at home are “Keeping the Lord’s Standard” (Not sure how that is being hypocritical?)

    I did want to make it clear too that we do not become holy by just keeping to a list of rules. Without the saving work of Christ’s death and resurrection all our “righteousnesses are as filthy rags.” (Isaiah 64:6) I am not righteous because I am a homemaker or anything good in me, I am righteous because Christ’s blood paid the penalty for my sin and because of this I stand forgiven and made clean.

    I’m not expecting to convince you to agree with what I’ve said in my article because we are not agreeing on the bottom line: that there is a standard set forth in God’s Holy Word.

    I do hope and pray though that you will be spurred on to seek out the Truth which encompasses far more than this one issue. Ultimately, it determines not just your happiness in this life, but eternity and where you will spend it.


  10. Hi Jennifer,
    Thanks for writing to me. You are right. You won’t convince me of anything, just as I won’t convince you. You have to understand though, that your opinions are just that, opinions. You don’t know that women should be at home, no more than I know they shouldn’t.

    I get that you have religious beliefs, but not everyone does. Yes, there are basic standards. But not all religions feel the same way. Does the bible say anything about killing oneself for the sake of the afterlife? Does it make reference to the claim that Jesus is just another man, who can save no one? No, obviously there are differences in religion. That being said, it is also obvious that people are, in fact, living by their own rules. I’m sorry if you disagree, but if everyone acted the exact same way and followed the exact same rules, there would be no need for law.

    Again, I do wish you well. You have your opinions and your beliefs, and I have mine. I might not be the best lion on this earth, but I am a very happy one, even if I sometimes mimic a lamb. I’m ok with that. Because I DON’T believe what you do. That is the beauty of free thinking. Mine is opinion, just as yours is. Everyone can’t be right, and wrong at the same time. I’m sure everyone thinks THEIR religion is correct. That we should fight one another in war, for the sake of Allah, or marry and breed only with other Jews, because Christians are inferior. Again, everyone THINKS something different. That’s just the way the world goes. I believe there is a higher power, who gives us free will, and the ability to decide whether to do right by people or not. I CHOOSE to be kind, to help others, to work for a living, to provide, to take care of my kittens, etc. I feel that we are inherently good, some people just choose to go against their God-given decency. This is just my belief, as I said. I could be totally wrong. Guess we’ll never know.

    Take Care of Yourself.


  11. Wow what a discussion. Well I’m new to this site and I Love Love it. I’m not exactly like every woman here…not yet anyhow. My oldest two children attend public school and I’ve dreamed of having a dental hygienist degree. I’ve always wanted to live a more Godly strict life. I had no idea there were other women who thought this way. I have many friends who work outside of the home..and they always say they want to be home. I know no one who home schools their children but I have a good friend who almost has her teaching degree and she supports my decision to homeschool completely she is going to help me get started. I’m so excited about excelling in my role as wife and mother and I’m let the negativity and guilt that society places on homemakers roll off my back like water on a duck. Thank you for this wonderful uplifting site.


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