Replacing anxiety with trust

It’s been that kind of day, the type that used to drive me crazy and wear me out from nothing but the stress. By God’s grace, I have come a long way in the past ten years.
My house insurance company demands that I either have the woodstove in the detached garage professionally reviewed, or not only remove its pipe but fill in the pipe area in the wall so that we can’t just reattach the pipe and use it someday. The agent doesn’t understand why I have no intention of using the woodstove, but I don’t like the idea of completely closing the possibility of using it someday in the future. I live in a rural area, and if we had a disaster that knocked out power for a week, the only way we could boil water is using that woodstove.

Part of my lovely rural property

I don’t foresee that happening, no. I don’t plan on using the fire extinguisher by the stove either, but that doesn’t mean I want to render it inoperable.

My car is having problems again. It’s a 21-year-old station wagon with over 150K miles on it. Now that the body rust has started accelerating, it’s only got a few months left. We don’t yet have enough money to replace it with another used vehicle.

Both of my children are down sick with colds. My baby kept me up half the night, miserably congested.

These are the least of the issues on my plate today. You’d expect me to be crazy by now, right? I’m not, actually. For years now I’ve depended on God to get us through. I and my family have depended on God’s providence to bring an affordable car in when the old one dies, to safeguard the house, to bring our children through their illnesses…

This doesn’t mean that I just sit back and wait for God to shower His blessings. I ask for them, and then I go out looking for them. I tell God that I need a car, and then I start calling places to see what they’ve got. I tell God that I need His wisdom, and then I make the decision on the woodstove. I ask God to heal our children, and then I feed them healthy foods and sit up with them so that they can get their rest.

It really is a different feeling when you research a problem with the belief that God has a solution. The solution may be different than I’d expect. It may be unconventional. However, just because I can’t see a way right now doesn’t mean that there is no way. I just give it my best shot, and then rely on God to fill in the gaps. That takes the fear out of my trials.

In fact, I have even thought in recent years that, given the choice between God’s providence and lottery-winning riches, I would prefer to remain under God’s providence. Money won’t buy everything, but God provides all that you could ever need.

2 thoughts on “Replacing anxiety with trust

  1. I’d like to post a happy update on this. I first wrote it out because I thought that it’s so easy to post about God’s providence when He’s already provided, it might be of some use to someone to read about the ability to trust when the providence hasn’t happened yet!

    I wrote this a week or two ago, and since then a perfect opportunity for a solidly good used vehicle has dropped into our laps. One of the places I’d called a few days ago called back to say they had something.

    It just barely fits into our savings with just enough room to spare for a dinner out! …or a start to our new nest egg!

    I wrote this in faith that God would provide, and thought you would like to know that He has indeed. If you are in the place where I was when I wrote this, take heart and trust! God comes through!


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