Am I Really Content?

Be careful which sins you allow yourself to think you don’t have a problem with…

I tend to think of myself as not a covetous person. After all, I don’t crave fancy cars, high end jewelry, or a huge mansion. I certainly don’t need the latest gadgets, the newest computer, or designer jeans.

But I have come to realize, during the wee small hours of this morning, that I still do have a covetous spirit…

I think of the strawberry and raspberry plants that I managed to kill, and I wish I knew how to garden.

My four year old daughter tells me that she’d like to make a little yellow jacket for the baby, with little canary yellow buttons sewn on, and I wish I was a knitter, a seamstress, or both.

I visit friends’ homes that are beautifully well kept, with a place for everything, and everything in its place, and I wish that clutter wasn’t a constant battle for me. I wish it would come to me as easily as it seems to come to them.

I think of women I know whose husbands have home businesses, and I wish we could spend that much time together as a family.

I wish the zoning board would allow us to keep chickens.

I wish I weren’t allergic to cats.

I wish I weren’t such an untrained housewife, having to learn so much of this as I go, reinventing the wheel along the way, and wondering if I’ll even be able to learn how to keep order, and garden, and knit, and sew, in time to teach my daughter.

Not exactly the conventional definition of coveting, but coveting nonetheless.

I recently read a piece written by a woman, describing all the amazing things her mother did as a homemaker while she was growing up. The list was designed to show just how happy and productive a woman’s life inside the home can be, but it put me to shame and brought me to tears. How can I possibly be a good wife and mother if I can’t can vegetables, keep a beautiful flower garden, sew dresses for my daughter, and teach my children how to play piano, all the while keeping the house company-ready, just inviting opportunities for drop-of-the-hat hospitality?

I’m not good enough. How can I ever be good enough?

Then, it hit me like a train…

Comparing my weaknesses to the strengths of others, while neglecting to be grateful for the gifts and abilities God has given to me, is coveting at its lowest, and truly smacks of idolatry.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons.  1 Corinthians 12:4-6

While I’m pretty sure there isn’t a spiritual gift of house-cleaning–and if there is, I certainly don’t have it–I think the same principle can be applied. God did not create me to be the clone of Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, or anybody else for that matter. He made me, with all my weaknesses and shortcomings, to honor and glorify Him.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Grace. Ah, yes…it all comes back to grace. How could I be more blessed than to be an object of His grace? Father, forgive me.

Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9b

Boast about my weaknesses? I confess that I don’t think I’m there yet. I’m not even sure what that would look like.

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; 2 Corinthians 12:10a

I read these verses, and words like “distresses”…”persecutions”…and a lump forms in my throat. When have I ever experienced real distress or true persecution?

Content…for Christ’s sake…am I?…could I really be?

For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10b

LORD, I believe. Please help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

May it be so, according to Your Word. Amen.

4 thoughts on “Am I Really Content?

  1. I love this Tiana! I can relate to your article in so many ways. God’s Word gives me so much peace. I’m so grateful for the Lord. I couldn’t imagine trying to live life with out Him.


  2. Oh Tiana, Thank you so much for this. I suffer horribly from covetous and never realized how bad it was till readig your piece. I thought as you did, materialistic. Not realizing all the areas I felt I lacked were areas God has chosen not to have me excel in. Instead they are areas that I need to be gracious that my friends are blessed with such capabilities and that I too have areas that I am blessed in also. Thank you again so much, this meant more to me than you will ever realize!


  3. Tiana,

    Thank you so much for having the courage to be transparent about your weaknesses by sharing this wonderful blog post about coveting. I really could relate to these words, as I struggle daily with learning not to compare myself with other women who seem to have such a myriad of clever and creative talents.

    Learning to be content and satisfied with what the Lord has given us is such a difficult lesson to learn, yet, it’s a necessary lesson to learn if we are truly striving to be one with our Lord. This is a lesson I continue to learn every day.

    At any rate, I appreciated these words. I need to promise myself to meditate upon them. 🙂

    ~Mrs. Lady Sofia~


  4. WOW! this is so appropriate for me to hear right now. thank you! you sound so much like me, except that i do know how to knit! i am the granddaughter of (apparently) the patron saint of homemaking, according to my mother. she, on the other hand, was not. i grew up leaning how to feel guilty about all of the inadequacies that i apparently inherited from her. i don’t blame my mother for this, i think i just learned her way of doing things as well as her desire to be like her mother, partnered with her inability to do so. of course, i can look at my mother and see all of her many gifts, while she just sees her shortcomings…. kind of like how i can only see my own shortcomings. … i try. and i pray that God would bless me with just a little of my grandmother’s joy in the daily ‘fun’ of housekeeping!


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