I’m naturally an encourager. I can sit and encourage another woman on how to minister to her husband and children for hours on end. What I can’t do is waste time watching a foolish woman throwing a tantrum. What she doesn’t realize is that in the midst of her walking around the house with her bottom lip poked out because things aren’t going her way, she’s tearing down her house.
I was reading about her this morning in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 1. “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her own hands.”
Does this woman realize the effects that her tantrum is having on her family? Let’s take a quick look at what her tantrum is doing to her children.
Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” When a child hears a mother complaining about having so many children, it causes some confusion. Her children see her reading her Bible and confessing that it’s God’s infallible Word. They even hear her saying “Amen” to the preacher on Sunday morning. But because she can’t do some of the things that her friends without children can do, she pouts. She get tired and frustrated and don’t want to cook because she keeps repeating the lie she heard that she “deserves to go out and eat.” What about that outfit she saw on sale the other day? It can’t be hers this payday because Little Johnny has once again outgrown his shoes.
She allows her mind to contemplate over and over again about what her life can be like if she wasn’t “burdened” down with kids. All this, while she’s walking down the hall kicking the toys out of the way. But don’t worry about the kids at this moment. They’ve become accustomed to her tantrums and they are hidden out of her sight because they feel like it’s their fault anyway. Confused, of course, because they know the Bible says they are a blessing, but they are being treated like a burden.
Now where should I start with the poor husband? I can start by talking about his confusion as well. I think he’s more confused than the kids. He’s spends so many lonely nights thinking about the sweet young girl he married. How can a married man feel lonely at night when his wife is lying right beside him? Remember what I said before: he was thinking about that sweet young girl he married. The woman lying next to him has become grouchy and non-affectionate toward him because she says she’s suffering from PMS. He’s really confused because he was positive she was already having her menstrual cycle long before they were married. During their dating time, he was clueless to her suffering from PMS. All he knew is that he was hot stuff because she couldn’t stop admiring his physique. She had to refrain from touching it, but now he feels like his body doesn’t exist to her.
Her husband walks around on egg shells, because he doesn’t want to say anything to set her off. He’s lost his ability to make the final decision as head of his family because he knows if it’s one she doesn’t like, she won’t talk to him for a week–maybe longer, depending on how she feels. He doesn’t see himself as the one leading his home, so he won’t lead at church either. Ooops! Did I just say that?! Yes, he’ll come to church with her and the kids. He’ll even tithe faithfully, but taking on a leadership role is another story. He feels like he has failed as a leader in his home and doesn’t want to embarrass his wife by trying to be a leader at church. Plus he’s tired of his wife comparing him to Brother John Doe.
Then one day she gets this great revelation that they are not supposed to be at this church any longer because God told her it’s time to leave. Where are they going to go now? Her husband is not worried about them finding another church. He knows that she’ll find one for the family. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll just stay home. This foolish woman is okay with that too. She’ll have a chance to show this new church just how spiritual she is. She’ll share her testimony with the saints about how she’s being obedient to the Word and staying with her unsaved husband.
Whew! This foolish woman is out of control. Doesn’t she realize she can make a choice to stop being so foolish? If she would just stop for a minute and cease worshiping herself by singing the warm-up tune she learned in choir: “me me me meeee.” She must first acknowledge her foolishness. She must ask God for forgiveness and take it a step further to seek the forgiveness of her husband and children. She should surround herself with Titus 2 women and allow them to speak into her life. Her goal can now become that excellent wife who is a crown to her husband.
Proverbs 12:4 ~ An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.