Oh Foolish Woman, Stop Throwing a Tantrum

I’m naturally an encourager. I can sit and encourage another woman on how to minister to her husband and children for hours on end. What I can’t do is waste time watching a foolish woman throwing a tantrum. What she doesn’t realize is that in the midst of her walking around the house with her bottom lip poked out because things aren’t going her way, she’s tearing down her house.

I was reading about her this morning in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 1. “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her own hands.”

Does this woman realize the effects that her tantrum is having on her family? Let’s take a quick look at what her tantrum is doing to her children.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” When a child hears a mother complaining about having so many children, it causes some confusion. Her children see her reading her Bible and confessing that it’s God’s infallible Word. They even hear her saying “Amen” to the preacher on Sunday morning. But because she can’t do some of the things that her friends without children can do, she pouts. She get tired and frustrated and don’t want to cook because she keeps repeating the lie she heard that she “deserves to go out and eat.” What about that outfit she saw on sale the other day? It can’t be hers this payday because Little Johnny has once again outgrown his shoes.

She allows her mind to contemplate over and over again about what her life can be like if she wasn’t “burdened” down with kids. All this, while she’s walking down the hall kicking the toys out of the way. But don’t worry about the kids at this moment. They’ve become accustomed to her tantrums and they are hidden out of her sight because they feel like it’s their fault anyway. Confused, of course, because they know the Bible says they are a blessing, but they are being treated like a burden.

Now where should I start with the poor husband? I can start by talking about his confusion as well. I think he’s more confused than the kids. He’s spends so many lonely nights thinking about the sweet young girl he married. How can a married man feel lonely at night when his wife is lying right beside him? Remember what I said before: he was thinking about that sweet young girl he married. The woman lying next to him has become grouchy and non-affectionate toward him because she says she’s suffering from PMS. He’s really confused because he was positive she was already having her menstrual cycle long before they were married. During their dating time, he was clueless to her suffering from PMS. All he knew is that he was hot stuff because she couldn’t stop admiring his physique. She had to refrain from touching it, but now he feels like his body doesn’t exist to her.

Her husband walks around on egg shells, because he doesn’t want to say anything to set her off. He’s lost his ability to make the final decision as head of his family because he knows if it’s one she doesn’t like, she won’t talk to him for a week–maybe longer, depending on how she feels. He doesn’t see himself as the one leading his home, so he won’t lead at church either. Ooops! Did I just say that?!  Yes, he’ll come to church with her and the kids. He’ll even tithe faithfully, but taking on a leadership role is another story. He feels like he has failed as a leader in his home and doesn’t want to embarrass his wife by trying to be a leader at church. Plus he’s tired of his wife comparing him to Brother John Doe.

Then one day she gets this great revelation that they are not supposed to be at this church any longer because God told her it’s time to leave. Where are they going to go now? Her husband is not worried about them finding another church. He knows that she’ll find one for the family. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll just stay home. This foolish woman is okay with that too. She’ll have a chance to show this new church just how spiritual she is. She’ll share her testimony with the saints about how she’s being obedient to the Word and staying with her unsaved husband.

Whew! This foolish woman is out of control. Doesn’t she realize she can make a choice to stop being so foolish? If she would just stop for a minute and cease worshiping herself by singing the warm-up tune she learned in choir: “me me me meeee.” She must first acknowledge her foolishness. She must ask God for forgiveness and take it a step further to seek the forgiveness of her husband and children. She should surround herself with Titus 2 women and allow them to speak into her life. Her goal can now become that excellent wife who is a crown to her husband.

Proverbs 12:4 ~ An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

6 thoughts on “Oh Foolish Woman, Stop Throwing a Tantrum

  1. My mom was like this was us kids sometimes. Now as we are grown, she is hurt and confused when her kids sometimes throw angry words in her face. “I would never have spoken to my mother like that.” Yeah, and your mother would never have told her 10-year-old about how much better life could have been with fewer kids. You can’t point to your mother’s earned authority as an indication of your children’s rottenness. If you haven’t built your relationship with your children, you can’t blame them when they don’t want to hear it from you.

    It’s the same with husbands. Research shows it takes 7 positive interactions to offset one negative, and couples criticize each other 5 times each, per day, on average. Do people really think they’re going to get 35 random acts of kindness in between 6 and 10?

    I always think about that when I’m feeling crabby. I never want to talk like that to my kids or about my husband.


  2. It is so true that we as women often end up tearing down our homes instead of building them up. We need to keep our hearts and mind focused on Jesus instead of ourselves and what we might rather be doing or what we see friends doing, and we need to remember Ephesians 5:33 which says that we are to respect our husbands. Nagging, complaining, refusing to let him lead, and being physically or emotionally unavailable isn’t biblical. Thank you for that post. Like the first commenter, I really needed to hear some of that.


  3. Hi!

    I think “encouraging” means to provide support and assistance, and I’m not sure tearing down a fellow Christian woman would necessarily fit that bill!

    If a woman is unhappy about something, an encouraging friend would ask her, “What’s wrong? How can I help?” Usually there’s a reason. Listen to her. With compassion (and try not to use unkind words like “tantrum” to describe what may be a very real problem).

    It’s also good to consider that many women wonder what happened to the kindly, courtly, gentle man they married. It’s not just the guys who wonder these things. And men can change a lot in marriage too–not always for the best. A big bunch of kids are a blessing from God, but they can also be hard on a marriage. It’s important to remember that, and not deny it.

    Blessings to you and your family.

    In Christ,



  4. I love the title of this article especially. It’s so good to be reminded that as adults we are still prone to tantrums, even if we do not throw ourselves on the floor kicking and screaming.


  5. “She should surround herself with Titus 2 women and allow them to speak into her life.”

    Yes!! She should. But… where does she find them? Where does she find even one?

    Us younger women are going to have quite the harvest as we age.

    Learning to be that older Titus 2 woman,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s