Raising Kids Isn’t Just a ‘Necessary Task’

From the National Review Online:

The former head of Planned Parenthood, Gloria Feldt, has a new book out, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change the Way We Think about Power and Leadership. Her interview with the New York Times suggests that the book is exactly what you’d expect. Feldt laments that women haven’t reached parity with men in terms of executive power, and believes that “a culture that undervalues an entire gender” keeps women from achieving more….

If we could see child-rearing as a necessary task and not an identity, and if we could collectively recognize that facilitating it benefits us all, we would go much further in guaranteeing women’s choices than we do when we are expected to uncritically celebrate every individual’s decisions.

Feldt wants women to tell other women to “cut it out” and get back to work rather than spend their time nurturing their children. Feldt worries that women opting out confirms a stereotype — that many women actually want to spend time raising their children after they are born — that the feminists have been working so hard to shatter.
But what if the stereotype is actually true? Plenty has been written on how women and men differ biologically (see here and here, to start), so that women are more drawn to caring for their babies. In this light, Feldt’s desire to coerce women to ignore their natural instincts seems profoundly anti-woman.

Read the entire piece here.

4 thoughts on “Raising Kids Isn’t Just a ‘Necessary Task’

  1. I am “one of those women” who opted out of a lucrative career because when I became a Mother, I DESPERATELY wanted to stay home. We had made all the plans required for both of us to continue working and it simply didn’t work for any of us (Husband, Wife, or Child).

    Fortunately my Mother never lied to me when she was raising me. She often told me that after I had children I would feel differently about a lot of things – and I do! Staying home was one of the things I thought I wouldn’t “want” and that we “couldn’t afford it”. I was wrong. It was all I wanted and we found ways to afford it.

    The ideas promoted by Ms. Feldt are not helpful for families. Parents must raise their children, not as a “necessary task” but as a labor of love. I am proud to embrace my identity primarily as a Mother. Others around me (whether they are conscious of it or not) also see my identity primarily as a Mother. I am treated very differently now (with a ring and a child) than I was as a single lady. I enjoy this distinction and the more gentle and patient treatment I am shown by others.

    Instead of bemoaning the fact that there are not the same number of women executives as there are men who are executives, intelligent authors should be exploring WHY that is. It has very little to do with a glass ceiling or discrimination and more to do with choices women make to improve their families.

    Without the “stereotype” identity of a homemaker, I wouldn’t know what a home maker looked like! We all very much enjoy nostalgic 50’s domesticity and enjoy the identity the defined roles provide.


  2. I am very thankful for this site. It keeps us moms informed of the continued teachings of the culture. My daughter and I discuss many of the articles and topics that are posted here. She too has enjoyed being a part of a women’s site that promotes Biblical Womanhood. She is 12.

    Thank you for all of your hard work. You are loved by our family. 🙂


  3. What an insult! All mothers at home are working mothers. This is a tough job, the toughest and most rewarding I’ve ever had. I don’t know any other “profession” in which I have grown more or achieved more, if one looks at it from that standpoint. It goes further for me as a Christian woman, because the work I am doing is not for my own recognition, it is not for my own success, but it is all for the glory of my Lord. I do this joyfully out of obedience to Him.

    May I say that I am supportive of women who choose to work outside of the home. However, would a woman choose that path, I would pray that she do society a favor and not have kids until she’s ready to raise them.


  4. [quote] In this light, Feldt’s desire to coerce women to ignore their natural instincts seems profoundly anti-woman.[end/quote]
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    According to Gloria Feldt-man is better than woman because she wants me to act and be like him! By her logic she is conceding to the fact that indeed man is superior to woman therefore we as women, should deny our very nature and strive to be more like a man!!!! Because after all man is better than woman!

    I am not a man! I am a woman! I am a woman for God and His glory! I am His cherry blossom princess (all of God’s daughters are princesses).

    I do not believe either sexes are “superior” to the
    other! We are equal in dignity and grace but we are different. And therefore our roles in God’s plans by our different natures are different.


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