Are you sure you want a husband who…?


I was a young(er), inexperienced pastor, and befriended two church members. Both were long-timers, very active, seemed like good folks.

As I got to know them better, I got the message very clearly from “Suzy”: she was really frustrated with “Bill,” because Bill just wouldn’t lead. Suzy made this known in many ways, over and over. Bill was not leading, Suzy really wanted him to, she was really bitter and angry and frustrated over it.

Well I was youngish and green, and my dutiful goal was clear to me: I needed to work with Bill, help him become a leader in that marriage. So I spent time with Bill, worked with him, made suggestions. Bill was initially a bit leery but not unwilling.  In fact, he became very cooperative.

The result? Bill became an effective leader, Suzy was radiantly happy, both praised and honored God, both loved me, and they remain dear friends to this day.

That sound you just heard, in that pause? It was 97% of the pastors reading this, laughing bitterly and saying “Riiiight!”

Those pastors can tell you what really came next. Suzy was not happy with Bill or with me, and both ended up hating me. Why?

Read the entire piece HERE.

2 thoughts on “Are you sure you want a husband who…?

  1. Wow. That was a great post. I think we as women definitely need to be reminded of this. Not beaten over the head with it…but reminded from time to time. I loved this: “You need to start with the premise that God’s “dumbest” idea about womanhood is light-years better than your “brightest” idea.” Hilarious and true.


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