“Not under my roof”

From Carolyn Moynihan over at Mercatornet:

A professor of sociology wrote a week or so ago in the New York Times that American family life might be much improved if parents in the US were more like those in the Netherlands who — typically, it is implied — allow their teenage daughters to have their boyfriends sleep over in the family home, or sons to have their girlfriends do the same. …

[I]n a letter to the Times, a doctor who actually deals with adolescents knocks the idea soundly on the head. His letter is worth quoting in full:

As a physician engaged in a busy child and adolescent psychiatry practice, I couldn’t disagree more with the conclusions made by Amy Schalet in “The Sleepover Question” (Sunday Review, July 24).

Most teenagers do not have a way of fully understanding in advance the intensity of emotions they are likely to experience the first time they engage in a sexual relationship. Their capacity for managing emotions and making good judgments continues to develop into young adulthood.

Clinically, I see far too many teenagers with symptoms of anxiety or depression, problems with substance abuse or self-injurious behavior because they were not yet mature enough for sex.

“Accepting attitudes” about sexual behavior under the family’s roof may reduce conflict between parents and their teenagers, but at what cost to the emotional well-being of our kids?

You can read the entire commentary at THIS LINK. For a thorough debunking of the normalization of the “hook-up” culture, we recommend Dr. Miriam Grossman’s book, Unprotected. (Read Candice Watters’s review of the book HERE.)

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