Make Up, Make Out, and Make Do!: marshalling marital harmony

We love this beautiful post by Renee Ellison on marriage:

A good marriage is a waltz, not a courtroom.  The object is not to win, but to dance.  Life is simply too short to waste it fighting with your mate.  Stuffing “it” isn’t an answer, either; you’ll just explode later.  Both fighting and stuffing produce stress, not just emotionally but also at the cellular level, resulting in disease, trauma, and construction of veritable brick walls. Say what you really feel all along the way, but after each such time, quickly return to your cheerful self to BE the kind of lover you desire your mate to be.  Gladly take turns modeling what real marital love is supposed to be.  Woo your mate for a lifetime.  Keep short accounts.  Don’t let the sun go down on disgruntlement.  Make up…NOW.  Do it.

Read the entire piece HERE. I’ve been distressed to see a lot of young Christian couples openly bickering and even getting into yelling matches in front of their children and out in public. Fighting and outbursts of wrath are not biblical qualities we are called to develop into fine talents! In fact, Paul called them “the works of the flesh” (Galatians 5:19-21), which are in opposition to the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control–Gal. 5:22-23).

It’s so important to teach our children to resolve differences biblically and lovingly while they are young so they can carry that into their own marriages. I can’t even imagine my husband raising his voice at me or yelling to get a point across. My father never did it with my mother, and my siblings and I grew up seeing how two mature adults discuss issues and come to conclusions without any anger, bitterness, or backbiting. We are all sinners, but we need to strive daily against the temptation to take the path of least resistance and wallow in the works of the flesh. May that be our goal in our own marriages so we can teach our children by example how to build strong, vibrant, loving marriages. Thank you, Renee, for this excellent reminder!

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