A year and a half into our marriage, we were walking on the fair grounds, commenting on the young couples in love: teen girls carrying bears won by their boyfriends at the clown toss, couples nestled in the seats of a Ferris wheel, others dancing to the live band, a few making out behind the vendors’ stands.
“Remember when we were that in love?” David said to me.
Were? The comment bothered me. It was the same thing my parents had said, jokingly to each other and with smiles in their eyes, when they watched David and I fall in love. At that time, we were so in love that I couldn’t imagine that there would ever come a time when I would not want to spend hours cuddling, lost in long conversation about everything under the sun. I had always believed we would keep the inloveness alive long after the wedding, despite what I heard older folks say.
To me, it was a problem that our feelings were changing. And I’m not the only one in our generation to feel that way. We know people who have broken up because they were concerned that their feelings would not stand the test of time. And the young adults that we spent two summers interviewing for the Love and Marriage in Middle America Project expressed the same fears about losing “the spark” after the wedding day….
David and I wondered what people who had been married 50-plus years would say about all of this. So we gathered together a small group of senior citizens at the local retirement community and hosted a “Town Hall Meeting on Marriage.” What we heard is that, for these folks, marriage is not primarily about feeling perpetually and passionately in love, but about “companionship” and “having a family, children, a home.”
Read the rest HERE. This is an excellent piece that highlights the richness of a mature married love. I am here to testify that the love my husband and I have for each other is far, far deeper than the initial newlywed “spark,” though, at the time, we thought that was incredibly intense, deep love. But over time and through the births of children and the many ups and downs of daily life God has taken us through, that love has carved a deep channel in both of us. The new-love spark is wonderful, but it’s not all there is, and it is so worth the investment of time and emotions in our spouse to see love grow and weather the storms of life.