Marriage & Children Bruhaha – You Can’t Have It All

engagedIt’s hard for a inexperienced 20-year-old to know who’s telling the truth. Some say you can’t have it all, some say you can. Are the ones who are saying you can’t have it all just making excuses because they’re not successful? Susan Patton, Princeton graduate and mother of 2 Princeton graduates writes to the editor of her alma mater telling 20-somethings to marry and have babies.

It sounds like her late rushed marriage could have used some more time and wisdom in the decision making. Her dating advice needs some moral fiber, but her point is clear.

I know that you want to believe that you have lots of time to develop a brilliant career and have a wonderful family. But you don’t. By the time you graduate from college, half of your childbearing years are behind you, and the years from 22 to 35 will pass much more quickly than you can imagine. And if you’re even able to conceive at age 35, yours will be considered a high-risk pregnancy. Don’t delay having children until after you’ve established your career. That may be too late. You can make up for lost time on the job, but if you miss your opportunity to have your own children, it’s gone and it’s irretrievable.

My response to the “But I haven’t seen the world yet” or “Aren’t your 20s all about having fun?” conjecture is that it’s all fun and games until somebody winds up a spinster with cats. Simply put, you don’t get everything. Nobody does. So we must make choices and prioritize. If seeing the world is at the top of your list, OK, but the world will always be there. Your fertility is relatively fleeting.

Read the rest here.

Recommended Resources

The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know — and Men Can’t Say
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective
It’s (Not That) Complicated: How to Relate to Guys in a Healthy, Sane, and Biblical Way

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