Botkin Sisters: Should I Keep Preparing for Marriage?

“I thought marriage was coming, and soon. I thought I gave up the worldly approach to womanhood in exchange for a beautiful biblical picture that included husband, children, a home to be a homemaker in. And something went wrong. I gave up the world’s picture in exchange for nothing. I have nothing to show for it. I’ve spent 8 years in a holding pattern. I pushed off education, training, work, so nothing would be in the way of my getting married. Now I’m wondering if marriage is ever coming at all. Should I keep waiting and preparing, or should I go back to my previous plan?”

This is not only one girl’s question – this is the heart-cry of many young women today. Whether we swore off higher learning and work to engage in full-time waiting for Prince Charming; chose a college based on which one was most likely to provide an MRS degree; were so distracted by boys that we couldn’t focus on a single productive thing through our whole teens and twenties; or simply let the possibility of marriage coming any day now eat up our mental CPU and distract us from moving full-speed-ahead into anything else, most of us eventually realize this is not jibing with a productive, practical Christian life, and that it’s time to choose between our current track and a different one.

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One thought on “Botkin Sisters: Should I Keep Preparing for Marriage?

  1. A good contribution, but could I make these suggestions, from the point of view of a single man (so my mileage will vary, but with that …)

    When it became clear in my early 20s that I was going to be single for a very long time, it left me all at sea. Churches have plenty of resources for couples wanting to marry; very little for singles having to come to terms with their situation. I was able, eventually, to get some bearings, but it took time.

    Now – in terms of the LAF ministry. The Botkin sisters’ teaching needs to be given to young women at age 19 or 20, so that if they do end up single, they have a ‘roadmap’ to navigate their way through. I would have benefitted greatly from a single man’s equivalent at that age. It would also help, in working with the younger women, to have older (35-plus) single women make a contribution to them as well. Not to take away from the focus LAF has; rather, to show people how to work that focus out in a situation in which the much-promised marriage & children has not happened.


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