What we can learn from 50 Shades of Grey

The trailer is smoldering temptingly on computers around the globe. Fans of the book are checking their diaries and booking tickets online. Reviewers are readying their pens and preparing their remarks. In just a few short days 50 Shades of Grey will hit the big screen, just in time for Valentine’s Day. On one level, this is just another in a long line of films with … Continue reading What we can learn from 50 Shades of Grey

The Single Person’s Good Desire for Sex

A central issue in interpreting these verses is what Paul intends by the term “burn with passion” (a single word: puroústhai, “to burn”) and how burning relates to the theology of marriage that surrounds 1 Corinthians 7:8–9 (1 Corinthians 7:1–7, 10–16). Is marriage the coveted arena where each and every sexual fantasy comes to life? Is marriage a crude medium to satiate our base and … Continue reading The Single Person’s Good Desire for Sex

The Most Overlooked Characteristic of a Potential Spouse

“In sickness and in health.” On two occasions I have said those words with the full confidence that the couple repeating those words actually knew what they meant. The first occurrence brought a smile to my face. She had endured and marriage was her reward on the other side of illness. Together they have journeyed through the struggles of a serious disease as boyfriend and … Continue reading The Most Overlooked Characteristic of a Potential Spouse

Pinterest Wedding Shrines and Idolatrous Expectations

As a teenager, I read my fair share of Christian romance novels. They were full of dramatic plot lines, sexual tension, one room school houses and Canadian Mounties. The leading men were imperfect but in a tousled and endearing sort of way. They always knew what to say. All the female characters were beautiful, but distressed, to ensure the reader plenty of drama. Each story ended with … Continue reading Pinterest Wedding Shrines and Idolatrous Expectations

The New Singleness

kaje_yomama Compfight CC
kaje_yomama Compfight CC

[Editor’s note: Maggie Gallagher’s The New Singleness is from 2011 but still pertinent. Her article is referring to Katie Bolick’s Atlantic Cover story, Nov. 2011 – All the Single Ladies. (Which actually has some good historic references. She plainly admits she isn’t interested in keeping with them.) Maggie does well outlining what the millennial generation is facing; something we must understand. The new norms, temptations, propaganda, the emptiness desperately need to be addressed. We see in our crowd young men and women marrying and starting families right away. We see happy christian marriages, faithful spouses, capable and educated young people who lead rather than follow. We have a story to tell. There is hope even for this new singleness.] Sex has been divorced from meaning. Men are not being raised to be good family men, and women are not being raised to appreciate good family men. And men are failing to become the kind of men women want. Porn is available for all as a substitute for life. So Kate, facing a future without children or marriage, wants to celebrate singleness and to kill her youthful idealization. Continue reading “The New Singleness”

Marriage and Eternity

Forgetting the whole point of their existence. We’ve witnessed many singles fervently serve God until their marriage day, at which point one of two things happens: (1) they enjoy each other so much that they spend almost all their free time entertaining each other rather than serving God; or (2) they struggle in their relationship and spend their days arguing, going to counseling, and feeling … Continue reading Marriage and Eternity

Courtship Resources for the 21st Century

courtship resources short

intcIt’s (Not That) Complicated: How to Relate to Guys in a Healthy, Sane, and Biblical Way

Ever been confused about friendships with boys? How to handle crushes? How friendly is too friendly? How close is too close? What to do when a guy is being way too friendly? What guys think about all this? What it means to be a “sister, in all purity”? Guy-girl relationships have always been complicated, but perhaps never more so than today. It’s (Not That) Complicated is a humorous, hopeful, and deeply thought-provoking new look at guy-girl relationships in our times. Dealing practically with such complications as online interaction, Hollywood expectations, undefined relationships, and unrequited love, the Botkin sisters offer enduring biblical principles that can make it all much simpler. “How do young men and young women interact with one another when marriage is not in view? Can young men and young women be ‘friends’? And how does a young woman guard her heart, preserve her purity, and walk in integrity without treating young men with disdain? In It’s (Not That) Complicated, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin address these and other questions with wisdom, grace, transparency, and biblical acuity.” – Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr. Continue reading “Courtship Resources for the 21st Century”

Can men and women be friends?

By Jen Wilkin author at The Beginning of Wisdom

2282499473_d4de0f9cdc
haglundc compfight cc
Recently a friend started a discussion thread by asking the question, “Can men and women be friends?” She was asking, essentially, if sexual attraction is a deal-breaker when it comes to male-female friendships. Immediately the thread filled with horror stories about male-female relationships that started as friendships and ended as train wrecks.
I know these stories as well. I’ve had a front row seat to several of them—in the workplace, in the neighborhood, in churches—so I’m sensitive to the cautionary tale they tell. They remind me, though, of the labor-and-delivery stories I heard when I was pregnant with my first child. As soon as the bump became visible, women began freely volunteering their horror stories, everyone from friends to total strangers in the grocery store. I’m sure these stories were true, but do you know what stories I never heard? The positive ones. My perception of the risk became skewed by my fear. Four positive delivery experiences later, I view those stories differently.

Continue reading “Can men and women be friends?”

Stay-At-Home Wives & Social Capital

I’ll cut President Obama some slack. When he said that women staying at home with the kids is “not a choice we want Americans to make,” I assume he meant that it shouldn’t be a choice that women are forced to make. Even so, I have a beef with the tunnel vision that accompanies the conversation about women staying at home, as if it’s a balancing act … Continue reading Stay-At-Home Wives & Social Capital

How Courting a Man Ruined Me

When Mack first told me he wanted to be more than friends, my initial reaction was “Not gonna happen.” That’s mostly because I’d never dated. Anyone. Like ever. And I’ve never wanted to. I was protecting my heart. I’d watched my friends date, watched their hearts get broken and continue the cycle. For me, I didn’t want to date someone unless I knew I could possibly marry … Continue reading How Courting a Man Ruined Me