False hope, true hope

“I still want to get married but I am trying to be realistic about it. I am 28 and it seems like prospects just get slimmer and slimmer…..How do you all stay positive and keep hope that you will marry one day? I get so discouraged looking at our culture of immature and ill-prepared men and I have a hard time keeping hope about it. My Dad prays for each of us everyday that God will provide and be preparing godly spouses for each of us. All of the unmarried young men in our church either seem uninterested in marriage or quite a bit younger than me  (5-9 years).”

We received this question recently and it’s not an uncommon one. Really, there are a lot of questions within this question, but rather than say what’s already been said, and said well, let’s talk about this portion of the question- “How do you all stay positive and keep hope that you will marry one day?” The answer lies in the fact that hope is a much broader concept than just our hope of marriage. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but if we’re looking to it as the basis for our hopes, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. If we’re going to be a hopeful people, we first need to understand where hope comes from, what hope is(and isn’t), how it’s maintained and grown, and how it is lost.

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Mommy Likes Me Better: A Parable About Serving God in the Church

It seems to me that a lot of conservative Christian women these days are suffering from a lack of vision. For many of us, things have begun to improve, but there’s been a lot of poison in our perspectives–a feeling that if we couldn’t do what the men were doing, then maybe God had nothing for us to do; that maybe we’d been forgotten, left behind…like the pink tools on the workbench were second best, and the blue ones were getting all the use. In contemplating how this could have come about, I thought of the following story. Continue reading “Mommy Likes Me Better: A Parable About Serving God in the Church”

Deliberate vs. “Default” Parenting

Every now and again, even I get shell-shocked by what I see in the broader culture. Having come out of feminism 15 years ago and having read hundreds of books and thousands of articles on feminism, society, culture, and the family, you’d think nothing would surprise me. But sometimes God just pops my eyes open anew and reminds me what this battle is really about.

One of the myths we strive to bury is that the homemaker is simply a sweet little washer of dishes, flitting about the house in pearls and heels and smiling vacantly over the back fence at neighbors while hanging laundry. That pop culture image persists to the point that even those of us who are totally committed to being at-home wives and mothers still sometimes start to view ourselves through the Mrs. Cleaver lens and wonder if what we’re doing really matters. I’m here to tell you loud and clear, “Oh, yes, ladies, it does.”

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Book Review: Start Your Family

Steve and Candice Watters have championed marriage for many years, encouraging Christians to pray for it, prepare for it, and look forward to it. Back in 2008, I reviewed Candice’s excellent book, Get Married, and I was thrilled to hear that she and her husband had written a follow-up. Start Your Family sounds like “start your engines,” and the book more than delivers on its promising subtitle: “Inspiration for Having Babies.” Continue reading “Book Review: Start Your Family”