Help! Can’t You Just Tell Me What to Wear?

Hi Stacy,

I appreciated this article, but I’m still feeling confused about the whole subject. Everyone seems to have a major difference of opinion on what is modest (Soul Surfer is a good example), so how do we as a family choose a standard and stick to it?

Do you think strapless is ok if there’s no cleavage? What about skirt length? Do your girls ever wear shorts?

My daughters are getting older and frankly the thought of having to evaluate each outfit, every time they leave the house, exhausts me. Continue reading “Help! Can’t You Just Tell Me What to Wear?”

Flesh Parades, Doug Wilson and Cinematic Nudity

Douglas Wilson has some good things to say here about some of the issues upstream of the modesty debate, which echoes the concerns I raised in my article ‘Slutwalk and the Negation of Feminine Sexuality.

Wilson also helpfully reminds us that when a woman reveals too much flesh, it is often not because she has too much sexual security but too little. Wilson writes,

One of the most striking things about these flesh parades is how unattractive it all is. As in, gekkk. … There are clearly numerous young ladies who have no one in their lives willing to speak to them truthfully. And when women don’t have someone who loves them like they ought to, they become susceptible to any number of fads, so long as someone — most likely a peer with the same emotional problems — is willing to tell them it is “cute.” Well, it isn’t. Sorry to break it to you. There also appears to be an inverse relationship between the class of the person and how many square feet are covered by the tattoo.

The problem here, at least within the church, is that hints don’t get you anywhere, no effect at all, and if you state the problem plainly, it flattens the poor girl for months, like somebody took a pastoral mallet to her. By “hints,” I mean general references in sermons to modesty and decorum, and by “stating plainly” I mean suggesting that she come to church next week with the mammalian pride dialed back just a skosh. The problem is not that she is secure in her sexuality — it is just the reverse. You can tell this because women who want to be “secure” in their sexuality in this way at the same time do not want men around them who are secure in their sexuality in a comparable way.

Click “more” to read the rest (not for young readers). Continue reading “Flesh Parades, Doug Wilson and Cinematic Nudity”

Modesty is Unremarkable

From CatholicCulture.org: My daughters told me recently that modest clothing is unremarkable in itself, but remarkable in its potential effects. Ironically, the benefit of modest clothing is its transparency, so to speak. Modest clothing attracts attention neither to itself nor to the superficial qualities of the person wearing it. In fact, by not being a distraction or an end in itself, modest clothing allows the … Continue reading Modesty is Unremarkable

Devoted to The Lord

1 Corinthians 7:34-35:
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs:
Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
But a married woman is concerned about the things of this world –
how she can please her husband.
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you,
but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Dear Christian Woman,

We have been called to undivided devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. He has purified us from our sin and worldliness and set us apart to His holy purposes, are you walking in daily devotion to Him?

Perhaps the best way to start this discussion is by taking a few moments to consider what “undivided devotion” is. Simply put, it is a focused commitment and sacrificial giving of ourselves to someone or something. We fix our eyes on the goal and do not let them wander or waver. When the going gets tough, we are committed to giving whatever it takes to accomplish that goal. In this passage, the apostle Paul expects unmarried women to be making the Lord Jesus Christ their goal. Is He yours? Continue reading “Devoted to The Lord”

Nudity and the Christian Worldview

From an excellent piece by Robin Phillips: Given the premium the Bible places on modesty, one would expect Christians to reject public displays of nudity on television. Sadly, however, millions of Christians have come to treat sex scenes as a normal and accepted part of their viewing habits, especially if it is only one scene in an otherwise good movie. They will often justify watching … Continue reading Nudity and the Christian Worldview

The Death of Pretty

This post is intended as a lament of sorts, a lament for something in the culture that is dying and may never been seen again. Pretty, pretty is dying. People will define pretty differently.  For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence. Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence.  I … Continue reading The Death of Pretty

The Restraints of Sexual Freedom and the Battle for Free Speech

“Restraints” of “Freedom?” Yes, indeed. We’ve argued this many times, and it is refreshing to see the same lines of logic in this piece. One person’s “freedom” very often results in the oppression or harm of other people. The rise of feminism, the Pill, and other contraceptive forms coincided with a new era of sexuality, one that promised freedom. Decades later, campus climate reports, media … Continue reading The Restraints of Sexual Freedom and the Battle for Free Speech

Divorce linked with early sex

From Carolyn Moynihan over at Mercatornet: Despite all the experts who scoff at teaching adolescents to “wait” for sex, many do. About half of US 15- to 19-year-olds have never had sexual contact, according to recent report based on the National Survey of Family Growth. Now a study (based on data from the same survey) shows how important that is in later life. Read the … Continue reading Divorce linked with early sex

‘Slutwalk’ and the Negation of Female Sexuality

I was recently asked to cover an event in London known as the ‘Slutwalk.’ The event, which features scores of women walking down the street dressed as ‘sluts,’ started in Toronto on April 3. Since then, according to the Wikipedia article about it, the movement has spread to other towns throughout the US, Canada, Australia, Europe and even the Middle East. (Not for young readers.) Continue reading “‘Slutwalk’ and the Negation of Female Sexuality”

Kids can do abstinence, data shows

From Carolyn Moynihan over at Mercatornet: Those who insist on “safer sex” education for adolescents seem to assume two things: first, that nearly all teens will become sexually active, and second, that it doesn’t matter (they have a right to) so long as they take precautions against disease and pregnancy. Therefore, all teens should be subjected to the same sexual propaganda. But a report from … Continue reading Kids can do abstinence, data shows