McDonald: Courtship Questions for Potential Suitors

During our years speaking at various Christian conferences, my husband has received numerous requests from parents for his “famous” courtship questions. However, he has been hesitant to make them available, since it is easy for people to want a formula for courtship. His concern was that families may misunderstand the purpose for the questions and miss out on potentially wonderful matches for their daughters. My … Continue reading McDonald: Courtship Questions for Potential Suitors

Wilson: Courtship and Rape Culture

Let us begin with what I believe to be a common sense observation, which is that when everything is rape then nothing is. We live in a time when the truth of much of this is playing out in real time. Let us begin with one side of the equation, which would be the current climate on college campuses created by various certified buttercups, which … Continue reading Wilson: Courtship and Rape Culture

Courtship Resources for the 21st Century

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intcIt’s (Not That) Complicated: How to Relate to Guys in a Healthy, Sane, and Biblical Way

Ever been confused about friendships with boys? How to handle crushes? How friendly is too friendly? How close is too close? What to do when a guy is being way too friendly? What guys think about all this? What it means to be a “sister, in all purity”? Guy-girl relationships have always been complicated, but perhaps never more so than today. It’s (Not That) Complicated is a humorous, hopeful, and deeply thought-provoking new look at guy-girl relationships in our times. Dealing practically with such complications as online interaction, Hollywood expectations, undefined relationships, and unrequited love, the Botkin sisters offer enduring biblical principles that can make it all much simpler. “How do young men and young women interact with one another when marriage is not in view? Can young men and young women be ‘friends’? And how does a young woman guard her heart, preserve her purity, and walk in integrity without treating young men with disdain? In It’s (Not That) Complicated, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin address these and other questions with wisdom, grace, transparency, and biblical acuity.” – Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr. Continue reading “Courtship Resources for the 21st Century”

How Courting a Man Ruined Me

When Mack first told me he wanted to be more than friends, my initial reaction was “Not gonna happen.” That’s mostly because I’d never dated. Anyone. Like ever. And I’ve never wanted to. I was protecting my heart. I’d watched my friends date, watched their hearts get broken and continue the cycle. For me, I didn’t want to date someone unless I knew I could possibly marry … Continue reading How Courting a Man Ruined Me

Courtship: Should There Be Only One Suitor?

Imagine this: Marc has a female friend he’s known for years. Recently, he’s begun to realize what a good wife she would make and how much he enjoys her friendship. He talks to his parents who agree this looks like a wise course, then he calls her dad and makes an appointment to talk to him. He tells her father how much he appreciates his friend and … Continue reading Courtship: Should There Be Only One Suitor?

Courtship: It’s Just Coffee

Editor’s Note: Is courtship just coffee? Evidence that defining the terms and expectations is so very important.  From Raising Real Men “Hey, I’ve got some unexpected time free. Want to meet for coffee?” an adult young man texts a female friend. “I’m not comfortable meeting guys like that. You need to talk to my father,” is the reply. These two are on a different wavelength. Let’s … Continue reading Courtship: It’s Just Coffee

Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Awed

By Douglas Wilson

Thomas Umstattd Jr. recently made a splash with his article “Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.” To be perfectly honest, I thought a number of his points were very good, like frosted flakes in the bowl glinting in the morning light of your quiet breakfast nook. But I also thought, retaining the honesty theme here, that a number of his other points were like mushrooms that somebody stuck in there.

His good points were the kind of points that would be made by sane people anywhere, whatever steps in the mating dance they might want to use. I am a courtship advocate, and yet have often said that the courtship model too frequently means that six idiots are involved instead of two. So my purpose here is not to defend indefensible things, like courtships from Hell, or power-tripping fathers.

So, Suzy, I have been praying a lot about this, and I have taken the fact that your last name is Lordschoice as a sign . . .
So, Suzy, I have been praying a lot about this, and I have taken the fact that your last name is Lordschoice as a sign . . .

Nor do I want to be dismissive of some of his other good points — such as courtship ramping up an unnecessary intensity for some folks. Sometimes courtship is treated like a done deal, like a fait accompli. Billy is courting Suzy, let us say, and people bustle up to Billy at say, “Congratulations!” That is like being congratulated that you applied to Harvard, and you haven’t even taken the GREs yet.

Whenever you have a lot of human beings doing something, a good number of them are going to do it with less wisdom than others. The bell curve follows large populations inexorably. So nothing said here should be taken as a dismissal of Umstattd’s right to point out the problem cases. I myself have seen more than a few. Continue reading “Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Awed”